Sunday, September 02, 2007
The way that I think of a r/s
There is no right or wrong neither nor it should be this or that, it is how THE TWO PARTIES work things out in their preference. My thinking could be wrong in other’s aspect, their thinking could sound wrong to me too! But that is how I am brought up and I WILL NOT CHANGE to other’s thinking instead working out a balance that benefits the best of both.
1. Both parties work a path out together. Someone will have to take the lead, be it the male or female. It really doesn’t matter, SO LONG IT WORKS for them.
2. Both parties agree to take some route.
3. Taking up roles and responsible as a bf/gf or husband/wife.
4. Be initiative in whatever you do. If not the other party will be so tired and at least show SOME appreciation.
5. DO NOT TEST THE PATIENCE. Don’t wait until the other party say good bye by not bucking up.
6. DO NOT take anything for granted even down to small things like advise/reminder/communication or whatever its going to be.
7. HELP OUT your partner. If you can’t handle anything nor feeling stress. BE OPEN and speak to your partner. They are NOT GOD.
8. Including your partner into your family BOTH WAYS and not let your partner work his/her way out on his/her own. This is part of a husband/wife role.
9. TRUST YOUR PARTNER. Don’t even think of breaking it, the damage is not something you can imagine because ITS NOT YOU, ITS YOUR PARTNER.
10. Respect your partner. Don’t lose that. It’s not something you want.
I do not live in a culture that I think silent communication is correct. My family talks everything! All of the above are not some golden stupid rules, they are BASICS that you have to be aware of when you are in a r/s. These are not what I map out way before, I DISCOVER THEM when there is a problem. Some people have different sets of points because everyone have DIFFERENT THINKING, DIFFERENT CONCEPT, DIFFERENT BROUGHT UP, DIFFERENT WAY OF HANDLING THINGS, DIFFERENT WAYS OF REACTION. We are all different, you can’t have points that’s cool for everyone. At the end of the way its how you work with your partner.
1. Both parties work a path out together. Someone will have to take the lead, be it the male or female. It really doesn’t matter, SO LONG IT WORKS for them.
2. Both parties agree to take some route.
3. Taking up roles and responsible as a bf/gf or husband/wife.
4. Be initiative in whatever you do. If not the other party will be so tired and at least show SOME appreciation.
5. DO NOT TEST THE PATIENCE. Don’t wait until the other party say good bye by not bucking up.
6. DO NOT take anything for granted even down to small things like advise/reminder/communication or whatever its going to be.
7. HELP OUT your partner. If you can’t handle anything nor feeling stress. BE OPEN and speak to your partner. They are NOT GOD.
8. Including your partner into your family BOTH WAYS and not let your partner work his/her way out on his/her own. This is part of a husband/wife role.
9. TRUST YOUR PARTNER. Don’t even think of breaking it, the damage is not something you can imagine because ITS NOT YOU, ITS YOUR PARTNER.
10. Respect your partner. Don’t lose that. It’s not something you want.
I do not live in a culture that I think silent communication is correct. My family talks everything! All of the above are not some golden stupid rules, they are BASICS that you have to be aware of when you are in a r/s. These are not what I map out way before, I DISCOVER THEM when there is a problem. Some people have different sets of points because everyone have DIFFERENT THINKING, DIFFERENT CONCEPT, DIFFERENT BROUGHT UP, DIFFERENT WAY OF HANDLING THINGS, DIFFERENT WAYS OF REACTION. We are all different, you can’t have points that’s cool for everyone. At the end of the way its how you work with your partner.
For example, I don’t really like an egoistic man because I think I support myself. In a r/s, both parties are entitled to a fair share of thoughts. Maybe its not a lot that I am earning but it’s enough for me to get going at least. Men have no right in saying my principal are like this, so your wife have to follow. I happen to not fall into this category. I use my own money, I could stay in my parent’s place, I work, I do part time studies to upgrade myself, I can wash my own clothes, I mop the floor… so why should I be OBEYING man. Man and woman should work out something TOGETHER and NOT JUST FOLLOW SUIT. I WAS NOT WRONG and if you think I am then WE ARE JUST DIFFERENT.
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